I;ve been feeling energy flow, how it interacts with space around me, how it affects my conversatons
note: this might not be flow as much as dissonance.
The resounding, empty, empty, emptyness.
No, he isn’t here.
No, he isn’t here either.
then where did we put him, where did we leave him to roost?
What parts of him linger here.
Remnants of his…everything.
And how I miss that.
And how do you forgive that vastness of discomfort. Hi, old friend, trusted confidante, how are you today? I’m not hoping to make you upset but, remember that time you mightve tried to kill me.
Or those times.
Hey brother, how about all those times.
hey deep unsconscious mind, how about we string less of the men in my life that i’ve been distrusting of together, and also stop compiling these traumas themselves ontop one another so that i have to sift through that ache left open.
Hey track three, thanks for the reminder of the edge of the world. Remember glancing down and feeling, yes, he could kill me if he wanted to.
leaning down, cutting my palm on the open ground above the freeway, feeling everything that was in hibernation. All the pieces drifting inside me closer to one actual piece.
Why did the trust have to be pushed that far for me to feel a hand to hold.
Uphill both ways in studded heels with less than my right mind. So why?
there’s my own volley.
The always push to say- its not my fault I can’t hold back. the always push to say, please, here is my warning ahead of time. Don’t make me regret being.
Don’t make me regret me anymore than I already do.